Death and Dying Through the Eyes of Substance – Reven

◄ by Reven Bronson – Shawnee, KS ►

Opening words from the “Death and Dying Through the Eyes of Substance” IAAP International Teleconference call on September 29, 2013.

My first experience with Attunement and the dying process was a few years ago when I decided to work long distance with my husband’s grandmother as she began her transition. I would sit with her life pattern everyday for a couple of weeks. Then one evening, I began to feel contractions as her Being was preparing for the transition. They became stronger and stronger, each one like a big wave of energy. Then they quieted down, and I felt a beautiful release. The air around me seemed to sparkle with her essence. I was struck by the beauty of the moment, and I was fascinated by how much it felt like the birthing process. I felt no sadness or sense of loss, just tremendous love and beauty. The next morning we were told she had indeed passed very gracefully the previous night after telling her son she was ready now.

As I gained more experience in doing Attunement with those in the dying process, I began to realize how individual and unique this process is for everyone. People have varying emotions around death and go through the process in very different ways, not unlike birth. I also came to find out there are things that effect the process and what I was perceiving in the Attunement I was sharing such as pain medication and drugs.

I’m sure there are many factors in how we all handle this momentous time in our lives, but I feel that if we can come to a place where we feel safe enough to open ourselves to being the most vulnerable we have ever been, our transition can be a beautiful one. And in this way we can be of service to our loved ones, holding space for them during this time, helping to create a container, enfolding them in the current of LOVE so they have the opportunity to feel safe as they open themselves to a new experience of wholeness and unity.

I like to compare it to the birth of a baby. In one of my favorite birthing books, Spiritual Midwifery, The author Ina May Gaskin writes about how the cervix is an orifice, a Vesica Piscis if you will, and in order for this Vesica Piscis to open, expand, and allow for new life, the woman must be relaxed, and she must feel safe. She even compares it to the nearby orifice the anus and how we cannot have a bowl movement unless we are relaxed and feel safe. I find it interesting that life emerges from us through a doorway (the Vesica Piscis) which can only be opened by a feeling of safety and vulnerability. Surrender. And typically, as mothers, we instinctively take time to plan out the environment of our birth and who we want to be present, supporting us. This allows us the special moment to be enveloped by and in union with The Wonderful One, Being itself.

This is true for death as well, and it is no small act to be holding space for the death of a loved one. This is a time of much uncertainty for the one who is transitioning. Being able to relax, on whatever level that may come in, into a safe container of love can be such a blessing for that soul. It might even be the first time in their life they have felt supported, cared for, lifted, and loved, allowing them to be open (even just slightly) to the magnificence of union that awaits them. What a beautiful gift.

And for those with more substance, as in Joe Antell Sr.’s case, what a blessing to be surrounded in the radiant love of Attunement by his family and also a community of Attunement practitioners. It must have felt magical, for it is what we all seek, the feeling of union. And as we create that feeling of union here with each dying breath, we lift the soul into the arms of all that awaits us, creating almost a seamless transition. And for a few moments after that last breath, we have the opportunity to feel the glory of this union with creator as the Vesica Piscis is still open for just a short while. Yes, we have been a part of a blessing given to this soul, but each time I experience this process, I know that I have been blessed as well.

So I will leave you with this. Death can be beautiful, and we are meant to support each other in this process, consciously or unconsciously. We are community oriented. We seek connection and union with others and ultimately with Creator.